Twibite
by Amber Tate
Summary: About three things I was absolutely positive. First Edward could maybe be a Jonas Brother. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how potent that may be-that he wanted to eat my face off. And third, I was uncondistionally and irrevolbly in love with him. A parody of the first Twilight book. STARKID REFERENCES!
1. Chapter 1

**Amber: Hello! Welcome all to my very first parody! **

**Muses: *Cheer***

**Amber: So I feel like starting and just skipping the boring stuff! Take it away Percy!**

**Percy: *Facepalms, and glares at author* She owns nothing.**

Bella Swan sat in the car, brooding at whatever was outside the window of her mother's car. Today was a special day for brooding...today was her last day in paradise.

"Bella," Ren'ee Swan said, to her daughter. "You don't have to do this." Her blue eyes watched Bella with worry. Her daughter merely sighed, and looked her straight in the eye.

"I _want _to go."

"Seriously," Renee said. "We're moving to Florida...what are you gonna do in Forks Washington...take an outdoor shower?"

"Mom-"

"We have Disney World, for crying out loud!" Ren'ee exclaimed. "We have Bucsh gardens, and Sea World! What reason do you have moving to _Washington? _Why do you think I left that slop hole-"

"MOM!" Bella shrieked, her brown eyes wide. "Shut up!"

Renee shrugged and continued driving. She glanced at her daughter and muttered, "Kill joy."

"You should be thankful," Bella snapped. "I mean, I'm moving out of the house early! Now you and Phil can have some alone time. No need to say "Thank You"."

"Bella," Ren'ee sighed. "Phil is in a major baseball league. Do you think that we'll get some alone time?"

"Oh."

Bella and her mother drove in awkward silence for the rest of the trip.

XxX

When Bella landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. Bella wasn't surprised. It always rained in Washington, no matter what.

Bella narrowed her eyes, clutching her small bags; Scanning for her father. And sure enough he was there, leaning against his police car.

Charlie Swan was a police chief. Obvious enough.

Bella approached her father, and they gave each other an awkward one armed hug.

"Mommy?" A little blond girl nearby asked.

"Yes?" Her mother answered.

"Why are they hugging like that?"

The mother narrowed her eyes at the Swans. "Just another girl with daddy issues," She scowled.

"Like Katniss?" The girl asked, sucking a lollipop.

The mother thought about it for a second. "Worse," she shivered.

The Swan's stared at the mother waving friendly, and watched her slowly back away. She grabbed her daughter's wrist and ran away.

Charlie cleared his throat and smiled at his daughter. "It's good to see you Bells," He said. "You havn't changed much, how's Ren'ee?"

Bella shrugged. "Happier with Phil than she was with you."

Charlie's left eye twitched, and he made an unknown motion with his hands. He took a deep breath, and forced a smile. He took all of Bella's bags and stuffed them with such force the car alarm went off.

Several seconds of fumbling with his car keys, and the alarm went silent. He motioned for Bella to get in the car, which she did.

After several minutes of awkward silence in the car, Charlie cleared his throat.

"I found a good car for you, really cheap."

Bella facepalmed herself, and glared at her dad. "Char- Er, I mean,_ Dad. _When you buy a car for a teenage daughter you don't tell her it's cheap. That'll ruin everything. What brand is it anyways?"

"Well," Charlie mumbled. "It's not a car actually...it's a Chevy."

Bella shook her head dissapointed. "And I thought better of you."

Charlie sighed. "Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?"

"No."

"I got it there."

"I care, why?"

Charlie pulled aside, and stepped outside the car. Bella watched him walke to a tree, getting soaked in the process. Then he hit himself with the trunk several times, before returing to the car calmly, re-buckling his seatbelt.

"He used to come fishing with us in the summer...he's in a wheelchair now."

Bella racked her brains before nodding.

"He was the old owner, he sold it to me since he can't drive anymore."

Bella rolled her eyes. "More like he want's everyone to drag him around town, do he doesn't have to waste his own gas."

Charlie stared at his daughter. "He can't walk."

"So?"

Charlie grimanced at the thought that he had the world's dumbest brunette.

Awkward silence filled the car again, and Bella stared at her surroundings outside the car. Her eyes widened when she saw how green everything was. Comapred to Arizona, this was the place where those weird blue _Avatar _people lived.

Bella suddenly felt her mind go blank. "_Everything is backwards now, like out there is a true world, and in here is a dream."_

"What did you say Bells?" Charlie asked his daughter.

Bella shook her head. "Nothing, mind your own business."

Soon enough, the Swan's pulled into the driveway of Charlie's small house. Two bedrooms and a huge history of failed marrige.

Bella looked at the faded red truck in the driveway. She narrowed her eyes at it, and gave her father a huge grin.

"Wow, Dad, I love it," She said, grinning through her teeth.

Charlie grinned, and winked. "I'm glad you like it."

Bella wrinkled her nose as she watched Charlie exit the car. Without thinking, she automatically went to the trunk and grabbed her bags.

With tentative steps she walked into her small house, following the fimilliar path to her bedroom. She had lived in this house when since she was born...until the divorce.

Bella finally reached her room and surveyed it. The blue walls were the same, as well were the yellow lace curtains.

_"Ripping those off later," _Bella thought, realizing how the bright yellow clashed horribly with the baby blue walls. Bella even noticed that the same rocking chair from her baby days was present.

In the past, the only changes Bella had made to her room was a bed and wooden desk. Now however, a new computer and phone.

"Hey Bells," Charlie's voice came from the hall way. "We're sharing a bathroom...don't go in there for a while. Just dumped a _load!"_

Bella turned a nasty green color, and groaned. She dramatically turned and flopped onto her bed, on her back.

XxX

Bella pulled into a parking spot at her new high school, with an aphrehensive expression on her face. At least she had gotten to escape Charlie...the guy didn't say anything!

Bella couldn't stop to think about how everyone at this school knew each other, whilist she would be the new face. A.K.A. the target.

Bella Swan wasn't worried about standing out, though. She thought as she walked to the front office, that thanks to her pale emo complexion people wouldn't think she was from Arizona. Where everyone was tan except for people that had a permanet bored expression.

Bella approached the front desk, where a Ginger woman sat.

She looked up at her. "Can I help you?"

"I'm Isabella Swan," Bella informed her.

The woman gasped. "OHMIGOSH! THE CHIEF'S DAUGHTER!"

Everyone in the office froze staring at Bella.

Bella blushed under the gaze of everyone in the crowd. "Um..hi?"

One guys squealed and ran over. "We've been talking about you're coming ever since we heard you were coming!"

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Um...thanks?"

A blond woman bit her lip at Bella's clothes. "I would have gone with the blue sweater this morning, Dear."

Bella's eyes widened in fear. "You know what I alomst wore this morning?"

The woman laughed. "We put a camera in your room dear; we wanted to know EVERYTHING about you!"

Bella stepped back, took her papers from the Ginger woman and ran for her life.

XxX

Bella walked down the hall, when a boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil leaned over to her.

"You're Isabella Swan aren't you?"

Bella squnited at him, before shrugging. "Bella," She corrected.

Everyone spun around and stared at her.

Bella sighed and pushed her way through the crowd. The boy followed her.

"Where's your next class?" He asked.

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Why would I tell you-?"

He looked at the shedule in Bella's hand and grinned. "You have Government, with Jefferson, in building six. I'm heading toward building four I could show the way..." He said, in one singled breath. "I'm Eric."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You're drooling."

**Review! Be gentle...first parody.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Amber: Hey guys! Thanks for the awesome reviews! Knowing you laughed really made my day! Anyways, there's this new story called: _Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians alike! _It's by Brahian, and guess who's in the story? _MY OC'S! _Well, they're mainly there for comic relief, but still. So if you're missing them, check them out. A lot of Emily and Sherman.**

**Danny: She would not own anything as horrid as Twilight.**

As soon as Bella ditched the geek, and continued the rest of her school day...she was ready to leave Forks. Not all the kids were bad. Well, bad as in completely annoying. And unforuntantly, those were the ones she met.

"Hi," A short, girl with dimples said. "I'm Jessica. You're Isabella Swan, right?"

"Bella," Bella corrected.

"Bella," Jessica nodded. "Well, if you need any help with teachers, classes, clubs, after school activivties; Just give me ring!" She said, cheerfully.

Bella narrowed her eyes at her. She was making friends with a prep.

Much to Bella's dismay she ended up sitting at lunch with Jessica.

As sson as Bella sat down, she tried to engage in conversation.

"So...do you like-?"

"Those are the Cullens," Jessicaa breathed, intterupting Bella.

Bella blinked. "What?"

"The Cullens," Jessica sighed. She pointed to a group behind Bella. Bella turned and saw the most beuatiful- and Mary Suest table she had ever met.

They were all pale with a moddy expression on their faces. One had a large build and buzz cut. Kinda like a really buff John Travolta.

One had honey blond curls and was staring at everyone with wild eyes. He kept scraping the table with his nails, hyperventilating at the sight of anyone.

There were two girls too.

One was a total _Barbie _doll, and even wore the extreme high heels. She sniffed at any Ugly Betty that walked past her, whilist dabbing lipstick on her lips.

The second girl looked as though she could pass an female _Peter Pan _actress. She was short, small, and had a pixie cut. She took her purse and opened it slightly. Something gold glittered from the purse, and she licked her lips, looking hungry.

Without hesitation she grabbed whatever it was and smashed it into her mouth. Whatever it was gave a tiny bloodcurling scream before going silent.

Bella turned and faced the last one.

He looked to be the youngest out of the group. He had messy, cropped, bronze hair; And as he turned slowly to face Bella, she froze.

Her chocolate brown eyes met his black eyes. Black coal.

Bella blushed under his gaze and tore away from his gaze. He did as well.

Angela had not been noticing Bella at all, instead took her MP3 and started jamming out to it.

"Angela," Bella whispered.

_"Baby, Baby, Baby, Ooo!" _Jessica sang.

One of the Cullens looked up, and suddenly there was a _WHOOSH _across the cafteria. When Bella blinked, Jessica's MP3 had been crushed.

"No," Jessica whispered, tearing up. She held up the pieces to the sky. "MY PRECSIOUS!"

"Jessica!" Bella hissed.

Jessica stopped and looked at Bella, smiling with her prep-smile.

"Who's he?" Bella whispered, jerking her head at the youngest Cullen.

"Oh," Jessica said, twirling her hair. "That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apprently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him," She sniffed.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Turned you down flat, didn't he?"

Jessica jumped. "Wha-? No!"

Bella shook her sympathetically. "It's okay, I mean, I'm sure there was no chance for you two."

"What?" Jessica said, glowing red.

"I mean, c'mon, face it," Bella said, staring at Jessica. "He's a total hottie. You're short-"

Jessica whimpered.

"Your nose is kinda small-"

Jessica felt her nose.

"Your breath smells like fish-"

Jessica started tearing up.

"And not to mention your taste in clothes-"

Jessica burst into tears, and ran from the cafeteria crying.

"What?" Bella asked, when everyone stared at her deserted table. "What it something I said?"

XxX

Bella walked with another aquantence (Thankfully less annoying than Jessica), to Biology II. Angela went to sit with her lab partner, while Bella tried to find an open seat.

She scanned the room when she found the only availible seat.

Which was right next to Edward Cullen, whom sat alone.

Bella sighed, and made her way to the teacher.

The teacher- Mr. Banner, looked up idly. He shook his head, and clucked disaprovingly. "I would have gone with the blue sweater."

Bella forced a smile, and made a mental note to find the camera and destroy it.

Bella made her way to her seat, blushing feriously. The stare at everyonelse in the room made her blush harder. Then out of nowhere, she tripped over her own feet and was sprawled on the floor.

When Bella rose slowly, ignoring everyone's laughter; She made a blushing world record.

She sat down next to Edward who tensed, suddenly.

Bella stared at him, watching him change his posture. He sat on the very edge of his seat, one cheek hanging off the edge.

His face was screwed up like he was constipated, and he averted Bella's face.

Bella began to feel self-consious. She sniffed her hair wondering if it had to with anything. Nope. Depressed, dumb brunette scent, a-okay!

Mr. Banner began a long lecture about cell anatomy, which Bella took notes of. Though throughout the entire lecture, Bella glanced at Edward who remained as constipated as ever.

One time, she caught eye sight with him again. He glared at her, baring his teeth.

Bella smiled at his fangs. He must be really emo.

At the end of class, the bell rang, and Bella felt that _WOOSH _again. She blinked and Edward was gone.

XxX

"Aren't you Isabella Swan?"

Bella jumped, and reached to her pocket. She mazed the guy that had been talking to her.

"DAMN!" The guy cried. **(A/N: Excusie my language. I can't use any demigod curses here. Sorry.)**

He fell to the ground crying, clutching his bloodshot eyes. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?!"

Bella shook her head, and helped him up. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "But this school is filled with stalkers," She shivered.

The guys nodded, wiping his eyes. He stared at Bella's green shirt. "I would have gone with the blue sweater."

Bella groaned, and banged her head against the nearest locker.

"Well," The boy said, completely oblivious to Bella. "I'm Mike."

Bella sighed and turned around. "Bella."

"Do you need help finding your next class?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm heading to gym."

He squealed. "For reals?! That's my next class!"

Bella squnited at him. "I just mazed you...and you want to walk to class with me?"

"Yep!" Mike said brightly, smiling at Bella with his baby face.

She facepalmed herself. "I am such a Mary Sue."

On the way to class, Bella learned that Mike loved the sun too. He had lived in California until he was ten, and was dragged to this slop hole.

He was the nicest person Bella met today.

When everyone changed into they're gym unifroms- Coah Clapp- instructed everyone to start a volleyball game.

"Is his name really Coah Clapp?" Bella whispered to Mike.

He laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Doesn't our original author have a bad taste in names?"

Bella nodded. "Thank god we're under the incredibly awesome Amber Tate-"

The wall suddenly banged down, and everyone screamed in terror.

"STAY BACK!" Coach Clapp said, pushing his students behind him.

Dust and brick crumbled to the floor, and a figure of a girl stoof in it. She had blue/green eyes, and dirty blond hair. She was breathing heavily, and was soaked from the rain.

She held up a Lint Roller in the air. "Nobody," She spat. "Breaks the Fourth Wall, but ME!" She looked widly at everyone.

"GOT THAT?!"

Everyone nodded vigorously.

She stopped breathing heavy, and smiled. "Yay!" She looked back at her Lint Roller and grinned. "Guess we got that taken care of Sherman!"

She glared at everyone.

"Annnnnd, for those who don't know Sherman the Lint Roller...SHOULD BE ASHAMED!"

Everyone jumped, and chouresed: "We are not worthy of Sherman."

The girl nodded. "Good...anyways got to gets backs to Leo!"

She cackled madly, and lifted Sherman into the air. There was a bright flash and she was gone.

Everyone stared at the blown apart wall, where the girl had been standing earlier.

A tall, bald teacher ran into the room. He gaped at the wall and screamed, "WHAT DID THIS?!"

Coach Clapp blinked.

"I think it was a Lint Roller and an OC."

Coach Clapp was vaporized on the spot for breaking the Fourth Wall.

Bella stared at his ashes. "Well, look at the bright side..."

Everyone stared at her.

"Free period!" She cheered.

A name-less girl shook her head. "Dumb brunette, who knew?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

XxX

After that gym disaster, Bella walked to the front office to return her paperwork to the recptiontist; When she saw..._him._

Edward Cullen was arguing with the Ginger woman, in an attractive, and slightly gay voice.

Edward jumped and stared at an White-faced Bella.

He turned back to the Ginger lady, hastily, "Never mind then. I can see it's impossible. Thank you very much, for your help."

He swiftly turned and moonwalked out.

Bella's lower lip trembled. She walked to the woman, with tears in her eyes.

"How did the first day go?" The Ginger woman asked.

Bella screamed, and threw her papers at her.

"YOU SUCK!" She cried, stroming out.

The Woman shook her head. "Have a nice night, too Dear."

**Review! I loves the Reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Amber: Okay I want to make some things clear! This- This is a **_**Parody!**_** I'm afraid characters are going to be OOC! For those who don't know what OOC means…****O****ut ****O****f ****C****haracter. Alright? Now on with the story!**

**Annabeth: Amber is smart enough not to create the worst book series in the universe.**

Edward didn't show up at school the next day. This relieved Bella slightly, but she still couldn't get over the emo boy. Something about him was special.

These were Bella's thoughts as she made dinner that night, and whilst eating with Charlie.

"So….," Charlie said finally, breaking the silence. "You meet any friends?"

Bella shrugged. "A girl named Jessica and a guy named Mike. The rest were a bunch of stalkers."

Charlie nodded, focusing on the word 'Mike.'

"That must be Mike Newton. Nice kid- nice family. His dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living-"

"Do you know the Cullen's?" Bella blurted, spraying Charlie with some steak and potatoes.

Charlie narrowed his eyes, and wiped whatever had been in Bella's mouth, off his face. He cleared his throat and nodded.

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man. Helps me with my indigestion problem all the time."

Bella spat out her ice tea, spraying Charlie again. Her mouth trembling, she stared at Charlie. "Is _that _what I smelled this morning?"

Charlie nodded, drying his face. Then Charlie suddenly scowled. "They…the kids…are a little different. They don't seem to fit very well at the school."

"By being absolutely gorgeous," Bella sighed, putting her elbow on her dish.

Charlie narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah…a little _too _perfect. Ever since they moved here, not a speck of trouble has occurred. I mean, Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon and we're lucky to have him here. Lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town."

Bella watched him narrowing her eyes.

Eventually after dinner ended, Charlie went to his usual spot in front of the T.V. Meanwhile, Bella went hunting for that secret camera. Fifteen minutes later, she dumped what was left of it in the kitchen trash can.

XxX

Edward Cullen didn't show up the rest of the week. Bella was son angsted out by this, but she couldn't figure out why. There was just something…..

And one day.

He was there.

Bella watched him, laughing with his two brothers, acting as though nothing had happened.

His eyes met hers again, and Bella looked away instantly, letting her hair cover her face. But his face wasn't stony this time. It had mild curiosity.

Jessica (Whom had forgiven Bella) gaped at Edward. Then she punched Bella's shoulder and screamed, "EDWARD CULLEN IS STARING AT YOU!"

Everyone in the cafeteria froze and stared at their direction.

Jessica waved, "Hi!"

Bella blushed to the extreme, and didn't stop until everyone looked away again. Then when sure everyone wasn't looking at her…she fangirl squealed with Jessica.

"EEEEEEE!" They squealed.

XxX

Back in Biology, Bella was startled to hear a quiet-slightly-gay-voice whisper to her.

"Hello," The voice whispered.

Bella looked up and was surprised to see Edward Cullen staring at her.

"Why are you here?" She demanded, secretly squealing on the inside again.

Edward pointed at his seat. "I sit next to you."

Bella stared at him. "So?"

Edward ignored her and sat down, still sitting as far away as the desk could allow. But his chair faced her. He smiled at her.

"My name is Edward Cullen," He said, formally. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

"You didn't call me Isabella," Bella said, out loud. "How do you know my name?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Everyone at school has been talking about you. How would I not know you're name?"

"Fair point."'

Finally, Mr. Banner walked to the front of the class.

"Class," He announced. "We will be doing a lab activity today, identifying animal and plant cells."

A name-less boy raised his hand.

"Yes, person?" Mr. Banner said.

"Why are we doing this?" Name-less asked incredulously. "This is middle school material."

Mr. Banner tensed, and shook angrily. He took a deep breath and forced a smile. "This is a review."

"But…still. Why not show us the new material in a presentation? _Then _show us the reviews."

Mr. Banner turned red. "ARE YOU QUESTIONING YOU'RE FAITH IN ME?!"

Name-less's eyes widened. "No, Mr. Banner! I-"

Mr. Banner began growing, his skin growing greener with every inch he grew. His shirt tore open, and surprisingly his pants stayed on.

"HULK SMASH!" Mr. Banner- Hulk- screamed. He raised his huge fists and smashed his desk. Everyone screamed in terror and ran to the back of the classroom.

All except Edward, whose eye started twitching. The Hulk had cut his finger; whilst smashing his desk.

Hulk stomped around and finally screamed in rage. He charged and ran right through the wall.

The students, minus Edward were paralyzed. They heard the Hulk scream, "I'M GOING BACK TO THE AVENGERS! ARRRRRGH!"

Bella slowly sat up, and saw Edward. He was frozen, and she remembered how he had reacted when the Hulk's blood had been visible. He merely shook his head and forced a smile at Bella.

"We still have to do that assignment, don't we?"

So as if nothing had happened, everyone began to do today's lab. The principal came in and started spazzing out at the sight of the demolished classroom, but really….who cares?

"Ladies first partner?" Edward asked, flashing a dazzling smile at Bella. His fangs showed, and Bella stared at them.

"My eyes are up here," He said, pointing at his eyes, directing Bella away from his mouth.

"Sorry," She said. And then she stood frozen under his stare. His eyes were no longer coal black…they were a topaz color.

"Umm….," Bella mumbled under his stare.

He pointed at the microscope and Bella peered inside. She squinted and muttered, "Prophase."

"Can I look?" Edward asked.

"No."

The two just sat there in silence until Bella finally agreed to let Edward look.

Edward nodded, studying it. "Defiantly Prophase. I've seen it enough in my lifetime." Edward suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth, watching Bella.

Bella stared at him strangely. "Lifetime?"

He shrugged, and said at top speed, "Yeah-it's-just-an-expression-right? It's-not-like-I'm-a-vampire-slash-ex-wizard-that's-been-staying-young-for-a-long-time-pretending-to-be-a-human-right?"

Bella stared at him. Then she shrugged and nodded. "Yeah."

He wiped his forehead. "Thank god for the world's dumbest brunette."

"What was that?" Bella snapped, looking back up from the microscope.

"Nothing."

Edward gazed out the window, where snow was falling to the ground softly. A rare sight, since it mostly rained in Fork's.

Edward wanted to ask Bella something casually. Then he focused on Mike Newton, since he had been hanging a lot with Bella.

Edward listened to Mike's thoughts carefully.

'Bitch likes me,' Mike's thought voice said. He was nodding slowly, watching Bella. 'Ooh yeah. Dumb ones are the easiest to get. I just got to ask her when it's sunny outside. Too bad she hates rain and snow.'

Edward squinted at Mike.

'Man,' Mike though, leaning forward resting on his elbows. 'That _My Little Pony _episode was beast last night!' Mike grinned, tapping his pencil to his lips; His partner peering into the microscope.

'Fluttershy pwns all! Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie totally ate it!'

Edward shook his head, and directed his attention back to Bella.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" He asked.

Bella sighed. "Not really," she said honestly.

"You don't like the cold."

"Or the wet," Bella said, cautiously noticing Edward hadn't asked. It was more like repeating a fact.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," Edward muttered.

"You have no idea," Bella sighed.

"One question?" Edward asked.

"What?"

He leaned in closely their foreheads almost touching. "Bella," He whispered. Bella nodded staring at him with her big brown eyes.

"_You chose Washington over Florida?!" _

Bella narrowed her eyes, and she slapped Edward's hand. Instead of getting the satisfying '_smack!', _she gasped.

His skin was cold. Ice cold. Hard as a rock.

Edward tensed and cleared his throat, pulling away from Bella. Then he pretended nothing had happened; He stared at Bella waiting for his answer.

Bella sighed and nodded. "Yes, I chose Forks over Florida."

"You don't sound happy about it," Edward pointed out, putting his elbows on the table.

"And?" Bella asked, getting angry.

"It just doesn't seem fair," He shrugged.

Bella cackled insanely, her eyes wide, clutching her stomach. Edward's eyes widened in fear, and he flinched backwards.

Bella stopped laughing and stared at him. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, closing his eyes. "Just…memories. Scar. Competition. Guy with no nose. Crazy lady that needs _Pantene."_

"Huh?" Bella asked, confused.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing." Then under his breath he muttered, "_I should really wright to Harry some time."_

Edward smiled innocently under Bella's confused stare. Bella shook her head, and made her features angry again.

"Well…..," Bella said, wide eyed. "Has anyone ever told you life isn't fair?"

"I believe I _have _heard that from somewhere," Edward said, chuckling darkly.

"So that's all…."

Edward studied her. "You put up a good show….but until you destroyed that camera everyone saw the tantrum you made."

Bella's mouth fell open in horror.

"Am I wrong?" He asked, smugly. Then he whispered, "I don't think so."

"Finder," Bella muttered.

Edward's expression twisted into full rage. "HUFFLPUFF'S ARE NOT FINDER'S!"

Everyone stared at him.

Edward would've blushed if he could have. "Err- I mean, I AM NOT A FINDER!"

Everyone shrugged and went back to work.

"It's just…." Edward whispered. "It's like you're a book. Your face is so easy to read."

Bella groaned and frowned. "My mother used to call me her, 'Open Book.'"

Edward chuckled, flashing a dazzling smile.

Finally, the bell rang. All the students turned they're work into an "IN" box, and carefully stepped over the wreckage of the classroom.

Edward winked and Bella and the two went into different directions of the hallway.

XxX

As Bella walked to her truck, she felt as though someone was watching her. She clutched the water bottle in her hand tightly and looked across the street. Edward Cullen was watching her intently.

Bella tried walking to her car, but his stare was so piercing.

Brown eyes met topaz.

Bella screamed, and threw her water bottle at him. He jumped in surprise, as the water bottle jumped harmlessly off his chest.

"CREEP!" Bella cried, running to her car.

**R-E-V-I-E-W! That! Is! What! You! DO!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Amber: Okay guess what guys?!**

**Percy: Uh-oh….she's excited.**

**Amber: *Batglares at Percy. Pen becomes boiling hot and Percy screams a girl scream***

**Percy: EEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!**

**Amber: *Sniffs* Anywho…I discovered that they ARE indeed, going to make a sequel to the lightning thief movie. But it seems more accurate because, Annabeth is blond. Plus Mr.D and Clarisse are going to be in it as well.**

**Clarisse: HA! Take that you movie losers.**

**Movie Percy: Excuse me?**

**Amber and girl muses: *Drool***

**Book Percy: *Recovers and glares at movie Percy* you weren't supposed to be sixteen in the first movie.**

**Movie Percy: *Shrugs* Well…the girl's loved it. *Smirks at Amber, who fangirl squeals***

**Book Percy: Nu-uh! Amber thinks I'm hot! She's had a crush on me for the last three years, but wouldn't say it to Annabeth's face!**

**Amber: *Blushes* I…ah- I'm going now. *Walks out***

**Harry: *Watches Amber leave, leaning against the stage curtain* Well that's just great, Percy's! Go apologize to Amber!**

**Movie Harry: *Walks in nodding* Yeah, you two are such idiots. **

**Book Harry: *Stares at Movie Harry with uncomfortable expression* Are you really twenty three?  
Movie Harry: *Glares at book Harry* Stop mocking my height, and do the disclaimer.**

**Harry: *Rolls eyes* Amber wouldn't create any vile thing as Twilight.**

The next day, Bella woke up surprised. Head still on pillow, she slowly turned and saw the absence of rain or snow. She got up slowly and peered outside.

What she saw made her groan and collapse on her bed.

Instead of falling from the sky, the snow was littered on the ground. Children squealed and ran through the snow, laughing.

"Whoever doesn't love this is an idiot!" A little blond girl yelled, throwing snow in the air.

Her friend nodded. "An extreme idiot!" He laughed, directing his eyes at Bella's window.

The girl's eyes widened. She threw a snowball at him and hissed, "Don't break the fourth wall! Sherman's in town!"

The boy paled, and the two continued their game.

At that moment Bella walked out, trying carefully to not slip on the sleet covered ground. She failed, and fell over, and over.

At school, Bella stiffly got out of the car, when she felt somebody's gaze on her. In annoyance she looked up and saw Edward Cullen staring at her again; a look of pure terror on his face.

"Quit looking at me!" Bella hissed, as a van suddenly swerved out of control in the parking lot.

Bella jumped and didn't move as the van sped right at her. She lifted one foot and slowly put it down on the ground.

Edward rolled his eyes, and _WHOOSED _towards Bella and the van.

He pushed Bella to the ground as she continued trying to escape in slow motion. Then he thrust out a hand and put all his pressure on the van, putting a dent on it.

'Ow…...'Edward thought.

Bella stared at him, her eyes wide. She looked horrified and was surveying his face.

"What?" Edward asked self-conscious. "Is there something on my fangs?"

"Y-You-?" Bella stuttered.

"Uhh…." Edward panicked. Without warning he slammed Bella's head against the van.

"OW!" Bella yelled.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked worryingly. "You hit your head pretty hard."

"Wha-?" Bella whispered. Then she shook her head. "No, you saved me!"

Edward raised his eyebrows. "From all the way across the street?"

"But- but," Bella stuttered.

A group of paramedics came, and grabbed Bella from Edward. He let got reluctantly and watched Bella being loaded onto a stretcher.

"You!" She shouted, pointing at Edward.

She looked to where he had been standing earlier and to where he was standing. As the paramedics strapped a neck brace on her; Bella screamed, "WHOOSH!"

"We should sedate her," A paramedic breathed, looking at her patient.

"Already on it," Her partner said, pulling out a needle. When Bella was still screaming at Edward, he jammed the needle into her forearm.

Slowly Bella's eyes closed, and she fell into a deep sleep.

The paramedic's grabbed the driver of the van- Tyler- and loaded him on another ambulance. Edward had been allowed to come, and rode in shotgun.

"So…" The driver said casually. "You saw the whole incident?"

"Yes," Edward stated, awkwardly.

The driver nodded, looking at the rode. "You Carlisle's son?"

"Yep."

"Cool, cool."

The driver switched on the radio where an ad was being broadcasted.

"_Drink Butterbeer and pumpkin Juice, and explore Diagon Alley! Family fun for all ages! Test your courage at the flight of the Hippogriff and soar above the Hogwarts grounds. See if you have the makings of a Triwizard champion, riding the ferocious Dragon Challenge. And enter the Hogwarts castle, and fly among it along with Harry Potter and friends-"_

Edward turned off the radio fuming. "I already _am _a champion."

The driver laughed. "Yeah, like you're more popular than Harry Potter. Only people who can do that are Percy Jackson and the Kane's. Get a life."

Edward's eye twitched the whole way to the hospital.

XxX

"I'm telling you!" Bella said angrily, crossing her arms. "I'm fine! Plus, Edward saved my life by whooshing to save me dramatically."

"That's nice dear," Bella's nurse replied.

Bella rolled her eyes, and watched Tyler get wheeled to the bed next to her in the Emergency room. Tyler gritted his mouth in pain, his head soaked with bloody bandages.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked.

Tyler nodded, wincing.

Bella stared at him. Aren't you going to ask if _I'm _okay?"

Tyler stared at her. "Okay…_are you okay?"_

Bella nodded. "Yeah I'm fine."

"Good, good."

Bella kept staring at Tyler. "Y-You _were _going to ask me right?"

Tyler gaped at Bella. "Well, _someone _wouldn't be here if they had moved out of the way!"

"Who?" Bella asked.

Tyler reached for the curtain separating Bella and him.

"_Well!" _Bella hissed. Not quite sure what to do with herself, Bella rested her eyes for a moment.

"Is she sleeping?" The gay voice asked, flowing over Bella.

Bella snapped her eyes opened and glared at Edward. He was smirking at her, his arms crossed.

"So, what's the verdict?" He teased Bella.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," Bella grumbled. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

Edward shrugged. "Because I am."

Suddenly, a blond man walked into the room. A dozen nurses were following him, with hopeful glances. One was practically drooling at him.

"Whoa," Bella muttered. "Did we get dumped to a _Grey's Anatomy _set?"

"Hello Miss Swan," The man said, dazzling Bella. "I'm Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling?"

"Better," Bella said, surveying Dr. Cullen.

Dr. Cullen chuckled and patted Bella's head. He walked to the light board wall over Bella's head and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good," he said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

Bella soured. "I'm fine."

Dr. Cullen put pressure on Bella's skull and she winced.

"Tender?"

"Duh."

Dr. Cullen laughed and all the nurses sighed.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," He suggested, helping Bella up. She nodded and glared at Edward.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Your Dad's waiting for you."

"C'mon, _Hufflepuff." _

Edward's jaw tightened and he jerked his head out of the room. Passing through the love-struck nurses, he glared at Bella.

They reached the hall and Edward glared at Bella.

"What do you want?" Edward hissed.

"You owe me an explanation," She said, crossing her arms.

"No."

"What?" Bella asked incredulously.

"You can't make me!" Edward whined, sounding like a three-year-old.

"But-!"

Edward turned and WHOOSED out of the hall.

Bella stared at where he was dumbstruck.

Then she screamed angrily, "WHAT THE HELL IS HUFFLEPUFF?!"


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Twilight. Why would I read that garbage? **

"How about this dress?" Jessica asked for the fifteenth time, wearing a rather short, skimpy black dress.

Bella facepalmed, exaggerating the amount of time she had her palm placed on her face, bringing it off slowly. "_It's fine."_

Jessica groaned exasperated. "Well, I just can't be fine! I've got to be perfect! Mike asked me out when you turned him down! I will NOT be a second-option."

Angela smiled softly. "I think that blue floor length one was okay," she offered, leaning against the wall of the large dressing room.

"_See, Bella?" _Jessica smiled. "'Okay,' is better than 'fine.'" Jessica stared at her reflection, wrinkling her nose. She tried to toss her brown hair over one shoulder and scowled. "But I have to be better than 'Okay.'" She resumed to picking out the next dress out of twenty.

Bella groaned. "Uh, how about I meet you guys at that Italian restaurant…let's go to a good one instead of that other dump over there. I wanted to check out some books…if that's okay with you guys of course."

"Whatever," Jessica replied idly, taking a rainbow striped dress and unzipping it.

Bella rolled her eyes, and merely walked into the outside into the dark night. She shivered slightly, and walked several blocks to the book store in name. It's called a book store. Use your imagination if you want to know the book stores actual name.

Bella entered the store, and scanned titles and titles, seeing none that catched her eye. She thought about reading some actual literature that was good, like _Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or Divergent. _But something caught her eye—next to the literature which was crowned and had a golden rug surrounding it—was a black and yellow book.

Bella peered at the title, her brown eyes growing wide.

_**THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO INACCUATE STEPHINIE MEYER MONSTER MYTHS:**_

_**Useful for finding lies about monsters**_

_**Such as:**_

_**Vampires**_

_**Werewolves **_

_**Hufflepuff's that were Cedric Diggory**_

_**Perry the Platypus**_

Bella grinned and grabbed the book and went to the check-out line to pay for her book.

XxX

Bella walked the way to the Italian restaurant, _Carabbas, _whilst reading her new book, eagerly skimming the pages. Though, she wasn't being careful of where exactly she was heading, and accidentally bumped into a man wearing a leather jacket. It was dark at night, and he scowled at the sight of the short girl in front of him.

"Sorry," Bella answered and tried to move past him. He smirked and gripped her wrist, causing Bella's book to clatter to the ground.

"You jerk!" Bella cried in outrage. "That cost me five bucks!"

The man frowned. "For that big ass book?"

"They don't sell a lot of copies of this book apparently."

Then man raised an eyebrow and only shook his head in disgust. He whistled loudly and his friends grinned evilly at Bella.

Bella gulped and tried to think of anything to do—use her pepper spray, sing a Justin Bebier song, kick them in the crotch, and play dead—

Suddenly, a silver car skidded in front of Bella. The passenger side door popper open.

"Bella, I _found _you! Get inside!" A voice growled.

Bella wrenched her wrist out of the man's hand and stomped on his foot. She took her escape and leaped into the car. The moment she got in she slammed the door shut and the driver sped away.

Bella saw the driver was none other than Edward Cullen.

"Edward?" Bella asked dumfounded.

"Bella," Edward growled. "Do you know how hard it is to _find _someone in Washington in the middle of the night? Just be thankful I'm an excellent finder."

Bella rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, okay. Can you just get me to that Carabbas restaurant that's nearby here…just take a left—"

"—Bella," Edward grinned. "Don't doubt me. I know where to _find _this restaurant."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Lead the way Jigglypuff."


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Twilight. Why would I read that garbage? **

"How about this dress?" Jessica asked for the fifteenth time, wearing a rather short, skimpy black dress.

Bella facepalmed, exaggerating the amount of time she had her palm placed on her face, bringing it off slowly. "_It's fine."_

Jessica groaned exasperated. "Well, I just can't be fine! I've got to be perfect! Mike asked me out when you turned him down! I will NOT be a second-option."

Angela smiled softly. "I think that blue floor length one was okay," she offered, leaning against the wall of the large dressing room.

"_See, Bella?" _Jessica smiled. "'Okay,' is better than 'fine.'" Jessica stared at her reflection, wrinkling her nose. She tried to toss her brown hair over one shoulder and scowled. "But I have to be better than 'Okay.'" She resumed to picking out the next dress out of twenty.

Bella groaned. "Uh, how about I meet you guys at that Italian restaurant…let's go to a good one instead of that other dump over there. I wanted to check out some books…if that's okay with you guys of course."

"Whatever," Jessica replied idly, taking a rainbow striped dress and unzipping it.

Bella rolled her eyes, and merely walked into the outside into the dark night. She shivered slightly, and walked several blocks to the book store in name. It's called a book store. Use your imagination if you want to know the book stores actual name.

Bella entered the store, and scanned titles and titles, seeing none that catched her eye. She thought about reading some actual literature that was good, like _Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or Divergent. _But something caught her eye—next to the literature which was crowned and had a golden rug surrounding it—was a black and yellow book.

Bella peered at the title, her brown eyes growing wide.

_**THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO INACCUATE STEPHINIE MEYER MONSTER MYTHS:**_

_**Useful for finding lies about monsters**_

_**Such as:**_

_**Vampires**_

_**Werewolves **_

_**Hufflepuff's that were Cedric Diggory**_

_**Perry the Platypus**_

Bella grinned and grabbed the book and went to the check-out line to pay for her book.

XxX

Bella walked the way to the Italian restaurant, _Carabbas, _whilst reading her new book, eagerly skimming the pages. Though, she wasn't being careful of where exactly she was heading, and accidentally bumped into a man wearing a leather jacket. It was dark at night, and he scowled at the sight of the short girl in front of him.

"Sorry," Bella answered and tried to move past him. He smirked and gripped her wrist, causing Bella's book to clatter to the ground.

"You jerk!" Bella cried in outrage. "That cost me five bucks!"

The man frowned. "For that big ass book?"

"They don't sell a lot of copies of this book apparently."

Then man raised an eyebrow and only shook his head in disgust. He whistled loudly and his friends grinned evilly at Bella.

Bella gulped and tried to think of anything to do—use her pepper spray, sing a Justin Bebier song, kick them in the crotch, and play dead—

Suddenly, a silver car skidded in front of Bella. The passenger side door popper open.

"Bella, I _found _you! Get inside!" A voice growled.

Bella wrenched her wrist out of the man's hand and stomped on his foot. She took her escape and leaped into the car. The moment she got in she slammed the door shut and the driver sped away.

Bella saw the driver was none other than Edward Cullen.

"Edward?" Bella asked dumfounded.

"Bella," Edward growled. "Do you know how hard it is to _find _someone in Washington in the middle of the night? Just be thankful I'm an excellent finder."

Bella rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, okay. Can you just get me to that Carabbas restaurant that's nearby here…just take a left—"

"—Bella," Edward grinned. "Don't doubt me. I know where to _find _this restaurant."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Lead the way Jigglypuff."


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Twilight. If I did Jacob would have never happened.**

Bella brooded all the way to the Italian restaurant while Edward drove her looking annoyingly triumphant.

The rode in silence until Edward finally parked into the front of the restaurant; where ironically, Jessica and Angela were standing. Bella leapt out of the car the moment the car was at full halt, and ran to her "Friends."

"I'm sorry I'm late guys," Bella said, putting her best sorry face on.

Jessica just raised her eyebrows. "You should be! We ate without you and put it on your tab." Bella's jaw dropped as Jessica and Angela left laughing away.

Bella turned angrily, spinning on her heel. "YOU BIT-!"

"Bella," Edward purred, putting his hand on her shoulder. His ice cold hand gave Bella shivers and a painful brain freeze. "Calm down…would you like me to treat you to dinner? I _find_ the food here quite good…" he stared luster-fully at the restaurant. "Food smells amazing…" he said, as his mouth started watering. "It smells _so _different from blood—"

"Edward?" Bella asked, raising her eyebrows.

He just smirked and put his entire arm around Bella's shoulders. "Let's go eat."

Edward led Bella inside the restaurant and it wasn't long before they were both seated in a booth, facing each other awkwardly.

They didn't say much, but as soon an Asian waitress came over. "May I get you something to drink?" She asked in a British accent.

Edward looked at her—and if possible—turned paler.

"Um…." Bella said looking at the waitress who hadn't noticed Edward yet. "I'll take a Diet Coke."

Edward turned his head facing the wall; covering the side of his face facing the waitress with is hand. He coughed and muttered in a deep voice, "Same."

The waitress studied Edward. "D—Do I know you?"

"No," Edward muttered again in his unusual deep voice.

"Are you sure?" The waitress said. "You look a lot like a boy I used to date at my old school. I graduated last year…it was a boarding school in England." She gulped looking at Edward. "The boy I dated died within the first year we had dated."

"Well," Edward said, still trying to hide his face. "I'm sorry to hear that."

The waitress sighed, but smiled flirtatiously. "My name is Cho Chang, and I'll be serving ya'll tonight." She walked away, a slight spring in her step.

Edward made sure she was out of sight before I removing his hand from his face, and sinking slowly into his chair, exhaling softly. Bella raised her eyebrows at Edward who was muttering under his breath.

"Stupid, clingy girlfriend…thank the gods, for Lord Voldemort."

"Who?" Bella asked.

"No one," Edward said quickly.

They sat awkwardly at each other. Bella did attempt to look at Edward, but the moment his eyes locked with hers, she blushed and turned away.

Edward merely smirked, his bronze eyes twinkling. The two just sat in the booth, facing opposite of each other. The dim lighting and sound of nearby people chatting didn't help at all.

"Why do you wear contacts?" Bella blurted, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Edward tilted his head. "I don't. I used to at my old school, but not anymore. I used to speak with a fake British accent, too."

Bella raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Um…okay?"

"I brought you're drinks ya'll," the Asian waitress came back.

Edward took deep breath and looked bravely at the waitress. "Domo Arigoto, Miss Chang."

The waitress opened her mouth in outrage. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! Cho Chang asked to me serve the table because she was too busy! MY NAME IS LAVENDER BROWN!" She then promptly, took Edward's Diet Coke and spilled it all over him. Edward pouted, and then tried to shoot the waitress who looked exactly like Cho Chang an apologetic look, but she stormed off yelling angry.

Edward sighed, and nodded at Bella. "Let's just go, Kay?"

Bella nodded. "Whatever you say, you racist jerk."

Edward narrowed his eyes at her.

XxX

"So you run with incredible speed," Bella stated, in Edward's car; since he volunteered to bring her home. "Your eyes change color—"

"—which is normal," Edward replied, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.

Bella snorted. "Yeah, but yours go from black as coal to yellow as puppy urine."

"Hey!" Edward laughed, and Bella laughed too.

"I'm kidding!" Bella yelled, raising her hands up. She looked at Edward, who smirked at her before returning his attention to the road. She studied his eyes, and her mouth parted slightly. "They…," she swallowed uncomfortably. "They look like topazes."

Edward raised his eyebrows at her and Bella turned a delicate shade of pink instead of her usual tomato red.

They spoke no words at all, for a good twenty words. Finally, they stopped at a red-light and he glanced at her before hesitating.

Finally, Edward cleared his throat. "Your eyes look like chocolate." He turned and smiled at her. "Like milk chocolate…." He smirked. "Like pieces of Dove candy."

Bella turned pinker and smiled at him softly. Edward suddenly had a serious look on his face, and Bella's eyes narrowed softly. Their faces leaned closer to each other, and Edward rested a hand on Bella's cheek. She shivered from his cold touch, and closed her eyes.

Their lips were only inches away from each other when—

"OI!" A man called from behind them in another car. Edward and Bella jumped and saw they were at a green-light now.

Several horns were going off angrily.

Edward floored it looking panicked.

"Drive Jigglypuff!" Bella yelled. "DRIVE!"


	8. Chapter 8

Bella looked into her new book, staying up reading her book. Large circles were under her eyes, and she looked absolutely exhausted.

_Super Strength….beautiful…color-changing eyes…cold….special abilities….._

XxX

Bella think she knew the truth. The next day at school she scanned the parking lot for any sign of Edward Cullen.

Sure enough, he was there. He stood just outside some stone steps that lead to the nearby forest. His eyes were black as coal again.

He made a motion with his jaw, telling Bella to follow him. Wordlessly, he swaggered off into the woods. Bella raised her eyebrows. She felt a little unsure, but followed him; careful not to trip over any roots or stones.

Bella maneuvered her way through the forest, wrinkling her nose from the wet damp Earth. Chirping of birds could be heard, as well with the footsteps of unknown animals.

After a good five minutes, Bella found Edward standing in the middle of a field. There were less trees and he stood with his back facing Bella.

"You know how long it took me to get through this goddamn forest smoothly? I'm gonna let my Dad shoot you if I get in trouble for skipping first period."

"You know what I am," Edward muttered, ignoring what she said with the roll of his eyes.

Bella froze, not nodded slightly. "Y—you have a slightly gay voice…big hair…and you wear incredibly tight clothing."

"Say it," Edward whispered, closing his eyes in horror.

Bella took a deep breath. "Edward—"

"—SAY IT!" Edward roared, turning to face her.

"A JONAS BROTHER!" Bella wailed.

Edward blinked. "What the hell, Bella? I am _not _a Jonas brother." He shook his head. "Here's a little hint for you…it rhymes with 'lumpire…'"

Bella thought hard. Finally, she whispered, "Umpire."

Edward facepalmed. "I'm a VAMPIRE!"

Bella's jaw dropped. "Nuh-uh, that was going to be my fourth guess!"

Edward paused and raised an eyebrow curiously at Bella. "What was your third guess?"

"That you were those freaky vampire-fish things from Doctor Who—total vampire was gonna be my fourth guess."

Edward rolled his eyes impatiently. He then lurched forward, and threw Bella piggy-back style on him. He ran with incredible speed, making Bella gasp involuntary.

He stopped running and let Bella jump off his back. The area—which had been a good ten miles away was dark…except for a single ray of sunlight.

Edward took a deep—not that he needed to of course—and slowly walked to into the ray of sunlight. As soon as the light hit his face, his facial features began to glow. It was if his skin were made of stars.

"This—this is the face of a monster," Edward muttered, letting Bella observe him, her brown eyes wide. "I'm a killer."

Bella then narrowed her eyes. "Dude, you don't look like a killer. You really look like you had too much fun with the glitter-glue."

Edward pouted.

"In fact," Bella continued. "You look like a fairy."

Edward fake-laughed. "Yeah, ha, you know what?"

"What?" Bella asked.

"SHUT UP!" Edward yelled, looking extremely annoyed.


	9. Chapter 9

That same night Bella dozed peacefully in her room. It had been a strange day indeed, but it was comforting for her to escape reality or any consciousness.

Suddenly, there was a loud obnoxious clap of thunder, which made Bella jump—disturbing her sleep. Bella groaned, burying her forehead into her pillow.

At that same time…Bella's window opened. Bella paid no attention to it, just tried to focus on getting back to sleep.

Edward Cullen slowly stepped in, looking at Bella cautiously. Assured that she was still asleep (or looked like it) he maneuvered his way through her room, and sat at the edge of her bed.

Bella's eyes snapped open when she felt weight at the corner of her bed. She sat bolt-right and looked at Edward wide eyed.

Edward blinked, and tried to form words. He then laughed nervously, and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, he, he," Edward chuckled. "I know you must _find _this awkward Bella, but—"

Bella screamed at the top of her lungs, wrenching her lamp from her bedside table and smashing it on Edward's head.

Edward didn't flinch but just stared at Bella, shaking shattered glass from his hair. "Bella—'

"You are a PERVERT!" Bella screamed, drawing the covers to her chin. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

"Bella!" Edward yelled trying to reason.

Suddenly, the door burst open and there stood Charlie. Lightning cackled, adding a rather pleasant special effect on Charlie, making him look scarier than he usually looked.

He carried his gun, and made the biggest derp face when he saw Edward. He then scowled and did the most reasonable thing—locked his gun and targeted at Edward.

Edward made a squeaking sound, and used his vampire speed to race out of the window, with three bullets following him.

Charlie raced to Bella's open window, and shook his fist to the sky. "YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE CULLEN! STALKING A TEENAGE GIRL FROM HALF-WAY ACROSS THE TOWN SPERATED BY A BEACH AND FOREST IS AGAINST THE LAW! IF ANYONE FINDS THAT ROMANTIC MAKES THEM IDIOITS!"

Edward was long-gone, and Charlie breathed heavily. Slowly, her closed Bella's window and stared at his daughter.

Bella was staring at him wide…basically like this: O_O

Charlie just looked at her like this: :/

O_O

:/

O_O

:/

O_O

:/

O_O

:/

O_O

"Go to sleep Bella," Charlie grumbled, grabbing his gun and slamming Bella's door behind him.


	10. Boston

**Hello viewers! I'm here on an unhappy note. I'm sure all of you have heard of the unfortunate bombing at the Boston Marathon tonight. Why people do such evil things, it just sets my teeth on edge. First the shooting at Batman; Then shooting at Elementary School; and now a marathon. I don't live in Boston, yet everyone of those people will be in my prayers tonight. If you live in Boston or are related or friends with any of the killed or injured-I will pray for you and your family. I love all of you and I'm so, so sorry if this event has caused you truama or loss. I no these words may not mean much, especially on a Fanfiction website, but I really do mean them. I really, really, really do.**

**Stay safe.**

**~Amber**


	11. Chapter 11

"Bella!"

Bella glanced at Edward briefly before scowling. "Hello, stalker."

Edward huffed, running a hand through his ruffly hair in the school parking lot. "I'm sorry…I just find sleep interesting. Especially when you do it…I can't."

"Want me to knock you out with a special stalker repellent?" Bella grumbled, turning her back to Edward and walking away.

"Bella!" Edward complained following her. "I'll make it up to you!"

Bella paused. "How?"

Edward paused for a second. _Dang it I actually didn't think I'd get this far…._ He thought miserably. "Dinner," Edward suggested. "Come have dinner at my house tonight. With my family."

"You mean your vegetarian vampire family?"

Edward nodded.

Bella contemplated on the idea her brown eyes looking at Edward. Finally she said, "Okay."

Edward perked up his yellow eyes dancing. "Really?"

Bella ran up and pecked Edward on the lips. "Pick me up at five, Hufflepuff."

"That won't be hard….you know because Huffepluff's are—"

"—excellent finders, yeah say it to someone who hasn't heard a million times already."

XxX

Alice huffed around the kitchen. Human girl so that meant human food. What was human food again? Alice paced around the kitchen which they usually used to kill live animals and gouge on their throats.

Bella….what would Bella like—

An idea popped into Alice's mind. YES!

XxX

"Oh. My. Gods."

Bella gaped at the house that looked like it belonged to a Bill Gates. It was huge, made of glass—basically had 'EXPENSIVE AND BREAKABLE' written all over it.

She hopped out of the car in her blue dress, feeling forest leaves crunch under her flats. Edward got out of the car as well, grinning. "Nice, huh?"

Bella nodded eagerly. "Are you kidding? It's the best!" She walked right up the steps of the house. Then she frowned.

"What is it?"

"It's just…" Bella started, turning to face Edward, her fingers twiddling with each other. "You guys are supposed to be vampires secretly, right?"

Edward nodded.

"Then why the hell would you have a see through house?"

Edward blinked, then said, "Bella, since when does anyone go outside?"

Bella thought for a moment. "True…but really. Like any hobo or hermit could walk through the forest and see you….go all vampire in here."

"Yeah, well….shut up."

XxX

"Guys? I'm home!" Edward announced, arm around Bella. Bella marveled at the inside of the Cullen home. A grand piano lay in the middle of the room with luxiourous furnitutre. Books and glass lamps were everywhere. With the sun from the outside and see-through walls, it gave the hall and fabulous glow to it.

"Alice! Emmett! Jasper! Rosealie! Esme! Carlise! Any other person I forgot to name!"

"In here!"

Edward lowered his hand to Bella's and they walked to the direction of the kitchen. All extremely pale and beautiful people were inside cooking.

One with a pixie haircut squealed and ran over to Bella. "Hi-Bella-I'm-Alice! I've-seen-the-furture-and-we're-gonna-be-best-frie nds-even-though-you're-gonna-hate-me-for-forcing-y ou-to-buy-fashionale-clothes." She said all this in practically in one breath.

Bella blinked. "Um…thank—thank you?"

Alice slapped her arm playfully. "I didn't compliment you, silly!"

"Okay then."

Alice gestured at the rest of her family who were smiling at Bella. "We made you an Italian meal 'cause your name is Bella. 'Bella' is Italian."

Bella narrowed her eyes. "It's just not Italian you know. Bella is also used in Spain and Brazil. In France, Bella is said as '_Belle,' _and—"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Alice said quickly.

A blond girl sniffed. "Yeah, but we've made it so—"

"We've already ate!" Edward yelled.

The blond girl's eye twitched. "EXCUSE ME?! WE MADE THIS MEAL FOR THE PAST HOUR YOU BIG HAIRED TURD! WE DON'T EAT HUMAN FOOD! IT'S DISGUSTING! YOU GET FAT AND IT'S JUST—URGH! NOW THE HUMAN WILL EAT THE FOOD OR I WILL RAKE YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!"

Edward blinked.

"Bella, you wanna eat?" He asked in a small voice.

Bella rolled her eyes. The blond was obviously on her vampire period.


End file.
